Self-Control

Lesson 9 of 12 in the Man of God series

It’s late at night. Your phone buzzes with a message that promises excitement and instant gratification. Everything in you wants to give in—just this once. The promise feels strong: a quick thrill, a moment of escape, a chance to silence your stress. But deep down, you know that a few moments of pleasure will bring a lifetime of regret.

That’s the battlefield where self-control shows up. And it’s not just about your phone or lust. It’s about anger that lashes out, food that overindulges, money that controls you, words that tear down, and pride that demands its way.

Self-control is the ability to hold out on the short-term thrill for the greater reward. It’s the discipline to say “no” to what feels good now in order to receive what is truly good later. As a man of God, you don’t just want to avoid sin—you want to finish the race well. And self-control is what keeps you on the track.

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Part 1: Resist Temptation

Self-control starts with resistance. It’s the strength to stop when temptation knocks.

“Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” – Proverbs 25:28

A man without self-control is like a city with broken walls. Vulnerable. Exposed. Easy prey. That’s exactly how the enemy wants you—defenseless.

So how do you resist? This is where grace and self-control come together.

“For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all people. It trains us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age…” – Titus 2:11–12

Grace doesn’t excuse you from self-control—it empowers it. On your own, you may feel too weak to fight temptation. But grace is not only forgiveness for yesterday; it’s strength for today.

Think of Joseph in Genesis 39. Temptation came at him daily through Potiphar’s wife. He was young, strong, handsome, far from home, and under pressure. Yet Joseph refused. He said, “How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?” His resistance wasn’t just about saying no to her—it was about saying yes to God. That’s the heart of self-control.

Contrast that with Samson. He had supernatural strength, but he couldn’t control his desires. Time after time, he gave in until his enemies finally overpowered him. His lack of self-control left him blind, humiliated, and chained.

Two men. Two stories. One resisted and rose; the other indulged and fell.

Self-control means building your walls before temptation comes. Name your weak spot. Be honest about it. Don’t fight shadows—fight clearly defined enemies. Then invite accountability. Don’t resist alone. A man of God surrounds himself with brothers who will stand guard with him, pray for him, and call him out when needed.

Part 2: Pursue Righteousness

Self-control isn’t just about resisting the wrong things—it’s about pursuing the right ones.

Paul said it this way:

“Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever… I discipline my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.” – 1 Corinthians 9:25–27

An athlete doesn’t drift into greatness; he disciplines himself into it. Self-control works the same way. It’s not just saying “no” to sin—it’s saying “yes” to godliness.

You pursue self-control by training every part of your life:

• Train Your Thoughts.

  • “Take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” – 2 Corinthians 10:5

  • Every sin starts in the mind. Don’t let lies or lustful thoughts run wild. Capture them and hand them over to Christ.

• Train Your Words.

  • “Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.” – Psalm 141:3

  • Words can build or burn. Self-control is choosing silence when anger boils. It’s speaking life when sarcasm is easier.

• Train Your Habits.

  • “Make the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.” – Ephesians 5:16

  • Habits shape destiny. Order your days around God’s priorities—prayer, worship, and work with integrity.

And remember, this pursuit is Spirit-led, not self-manufactured.

“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” – Galatians 5:22–23

Self-control isn’t gritting your teeth harder—it’s yielding more fully to the Spirit.

Jesus modeled this perfectly in the wilderness. Hungry, weary, and alone, He refused Satan’s shortcuts because He was committed to His Father’s will. That same Spirit who strengthened Jesus now lives in you.

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Conclusion

A man of God develops self-control. He resists destructive impulses through the training of God’s grace. He pursues godly habits that prepare him for the greater reward. And he remembers that he’s not running alone—he’s running in step with the Spirit.

Without self-control, you trade tomorrow’s glory for today’s cravings. With self-control, you exchange today’s temptation for God’s eternal promise.

“Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.” – Proverbs 16:32

Warriors win battles, but patient, self-controlled men win the war. Be a man who doesn’t give in to every impulse, but instead stands tall, finishes strong, and lives for the crown that lasts forever.